August ’20 Dominatrix of Color: King Lexa

[Q1]: Where are you based and how long have you been doing femdom?

King Lexa: I am based in Orange County, California. I’ve been domming since 2015. I would say four years now.
Tasha Black: Oh, that’s quite a while.
King Lexa: Yeah, quite a while. But I’ve transitioned from real-time domination to online.
Tasha Black: So there’s no way that I could see you in person, even if I beg, even if I said pretty please?
King Lexa: No, there is a way to see me in person, it just takes more hoops to do so, more financial hoops…You know we are a luxury, and we should be treated as one and paid as one, that’s what I believe in.

[Q2]: What’s your favorite fetish?

King Lexa: My favorite fetish, currently, is financial domination.
Tasha Black: Tell us more about that.
King Lexa: When I first started, I began as a traditional, conventional dungeon dominatrix, although I never really sessioned in dungeons. It’s been a journey exploring what really moves me and my true power in certain fetishes and kinks. It’s molded me to discover my true turn-ons in the scene, and it’s come down to financial domination, basically a power exchange through money, and that’s why I’m mainly online, because I tend to find that market online much easier.
Tasha Black: Yeah, I think that’s the best thing about having online subs, because they just get it so much better, and I think they have a really deep appreciation for their dommes, and for the things that their mistresses add to their, kind of, lonely loser lives. (laughing)
King Lexa: Yeah, you bring that up very well. A lot of these online submissives don’t even have the opportunity, most of the time, to even see you.
Tasha Black: Right, they would never be worthy of seeing you in person.
King Lexa: And they know that, versus, like, the real-time sub, expects that. It’s a different energy.
Tasha Black: Which is not really what I’m looking for, I want a truly submissive toy that I can mold to my purposes. Having somebody online that’s just sending, spoiling, spending on you…
King Lexa: …Selflessly…
Tasha Black: Umm hmmm, I think that’s what all dommes look for.
King Lexa: Yeah, I think that’s what we all want. I’m still kinky, I don’t think money is a fetish, I still enjoy strap, I still enjoy flogging, but there needs to be that financial submission to me for that to ever happen. So yes, I do real time, but you have to prove that you’re financially devoted to me before I engage in a scene with you.
Tasha Black: Truly, truly, and we’re talking about thousands, not hundreds (laughing). A lot of zeros. I just want to let you know that, for anyone who is curious. (laughing)

[Q3:] Are there any latex or fetish designers that you really love right now?

King Lexa: So, I don’t really wear much latex, I’m like the girl next door dominatrix or findomme, I’m not latexed-out. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate latex, I love the feel and the look. It’s just so much fucking work to put on a fucking outfit. I’m sorry, I’m not doing that. I do have a glove fetish, and I love latex gloves, but as far as designers, back when I was wearing latex, even though I don’t like to wear it, I would wear Syren, you know, from The Stockroom?
Tasha Black: Yes, The Stockroom, an awesome toy and latex outfitter in L.A., everybody knows who they are.
King Lexa: Everybody has owned a pair (laughing)
It’s kind of the kit to be a dominatrix, the domme starter kit.
Tasha Black: I love shopping there, gift cards definitely accepted.
King Lexa: Where are you buying now?
Tasha Black: There’s this new store, Demask, in the Arts Districtin Downtown Los Angeles, that’s really
nice, but it’s kindof exclusive; I think it’s appointment only. Very private, but their pieces are very beautiful… Was that a Demask piece that we took pictures in? I don’t think so. Most likely another UK brand, I feel that a lot of the best latex is from the UK.
King Lexa: I’ve heard that.
Tasha Black: Well, if latex isn’t really your thing, then should subs out there know what your favorite brand is in general? Who your favorite designer is?

King Lexa: Gucci is my favorite designer, aside from that, Balenciaga. I just like to wear normal clothes. Even as a real-time dominatrix, I would wear lingerie, I’m not into corsets.

[Q4:] What’s your style?

King Lexa: Just every day living clothes. To me it’s a turn on that I don’t look like I could dominate you…Not necessarily using toys but using my mind…it just feels very natural, like this is the real thing. And that’s the point…we are the real thing.
Tasha Black: If you’re looking for a real domme (not just a performer) I think that everyone values that authenticity. I would say for my subs that’s what I hear the most, that they know I’m enjoying using them.
King Lexa: These subs have a sixth sense…they can tell, just like if they saw a picture on Eros and something is off, they don’t like the way she turns, the angora outfit, the whip is plastic, they usually know this, and it freaks me out.
Tasha Black: I totally agree, having a natural approach to being a femdomme is really important. In my own experience as a dominatrix, the more that I’ve just been who I am,the better it feels for my sub because obviously they’re getting my real passion, right? And my real desire for them. Versus something I practice.
King Lexa:Yeah, a mask. You know, authenticity is felt, so definitely it shows up in you, in your being, in a session. Not to take away the power from women who do like to dress out in all traditional, latex and leather, you know, all that jazz, that’s a great way too, and there are men who absolutely love that.

Tasha Black:I would agree with you. I used to buy a lot of latex outfits. Now I pretty much exclusively wear lingerie. I used to buy tons of latex because I thought that’s what dommes looked like.

[Q5]: Can you tell us one of your best session stories?

King Lexa: One of my best session stories? Let me think, there are so many. OK, here’s something I just remembered, when I first discovered an anal hook. They’re amazing. I had guy in a predicament bondage with the anal hook. He was laying on his stomach, (we were in New York), and I believe I had his balls tied to the hook too, I don’t recall. But I had my Hitachi wand, and he was in chastity as well. I guess it was more our connection that made the experience so amazing. I made that guy orgasm eight times while he was in that hook.
Tasha Black: Oh my gosh!
King Lexa: He got “hooked” on me (laughing). I also like to do public stuff. It’s not necessarily what I do, but the reaction that I get from what I do that makes the session amazing for me. It’s the reaction that I can evoke in the other person that turns me on, that makes it fun, you know?
Tasha Black: Yes, it feels like you’re actually seeing the person’s deep desire for you and their desire to submit to you. That’s what I love seeing. I love seeing a genuinely submissive man who wants to give me his body and let me control every single part of him. So, using the anal hook is great for that. Everybody knows I love anal play–no surprise there–I love anal play because it’s such a great way to establish power dynamics and really let somebody know that I’m here to fuck you, I’m here to use you, I’m here to emasculate you. And I think that’s what we both want (laughing).
King Lexa: I also enjoy strap. I love it. I like pushing people’s limits. I like seeing people suffer, but also get caught off guard–that’s what gets me, and that’s the kind of power I like to have over a man. I just like invoking fear in them. That’s my thing (laughing).

Tasha Black: It’s a big turn on, it really is. There’s nothing else like staring at somebody who is so aroused and yet so terrified of you.
King Lexa: You know, fear is the most potent aphrodisiac.

[Q6]: What’s something that you’re really excited about right now?

King Lexa: Something that I’m excited for is this movement that is happening right now in the sex industry, called “Bigger than Sex.” It’s a movement that I envisioned, but it’s not about me, it’s about female empowerment within the sex-worker community. We also raise funds to help a charity that I’ve chosen, “The Cupcake Girls.”
Tasha Black: Oh, so tell us about “The Cupcake Girls.” I want to know all the details.
King Lexa: So, “The Cupcake Girls” is a nonprofit with two locations, one in Las Vegas and another in Oregon. When I was looking for a charity to be a part of this movement, I wanted to make sure that they were doing something for female sex workers right now–women who are struggling with their rent, who can’t pay their groceries– I wanted a charity that’s doing something for that cause right now. That’s when I ran into “The Cupcake Girls.” They do so much more than that. They provide services for mental health; they also help women who have been sex trafficked. They do so much, I’m not doing them justice. I called the CEO, her name is Joy, she loved the vision, she loved the idea. So right now, I’m in the process of collecting videos from all these female sex workers in the industry. I’m talking porn stars, dominatrices, findommes, strippers, escorts, I’m talking everyone because we are such a big community and we are able to do so much, something bigger than sex, which is why I’m calling it “Bigger than Sex.”
Tasha Black: I love that. We need more of that, especially in these crazy, challenging times.
King Lexa: Yes, really challenging times. I’m really excited about this movement, and I hope everyone involved is just as excited and believes in it as much as I do because we’re going to explode this. I mean, I want other communities to not just look at us differently, but also feel empowered by seeing our community help others. I’m completely uplifted on this movement, and honestly, this is just the beginning. I hope to do more to help sex workers who are marginalized in the future.
Tasha Black: Yeah, definitely, we really need to support everyone in our community right now, because obviously, COVID, like so many other industries, has hit sex workers hard, and I think now is the perfect time to think about who are the dommes that we really love and who do we want to give back to. That’s why I love this idea of this charity and I think it’s so cool.

[Q7]: How has your unique background influenced the way you approach femdom and being a dominatrix?

King Lexa: So, my background, gosh, I have been coming out all my life. I come from a very religious Catholic family…
Tasha Black: I think a lot of people in kink do, actually.
King Lexa: Every Sunday going to church. I want to say that my mom worked very hard to keep me in a box, and, as a kid, I always rebelled, and that rebellion, I find it in King Lexa, because King Lexa goes against all social norms, gender norms, I’m always about testing the limits. One of my newest things is wearing boxers. I’m always looking for ways to test my creativity, push limits, and bend gender rules. I feel like that stems from my need or desire, (I don’t know if it’s a need), to always rebel. Like my name is King Lexa. Who the fuck calls themselves King? I mean, let’s start there, you know? It tells you so much about myself, and it’s not something that I sat down and thought “how am I going to rebel as a dominatrix?” It’s just how I am. I don’t even think about it, it’s completely subconscious.
Tasha Black: I totally agree with you. I would imagine that most people would come into kink with a feeling of shame, or that this is not OK; just based on the expectations of our mainstream culture. But the moment that you start to push back on that and feel comfortable being yourself, being authentic to what you want and who you are, is the moment that I feel like you can love, and blossom and thrive in BDSM.
King Lexa: Yeah, I think it’s important to highlight that we don’t “do” femdom, we “are” femdom. We create” it. It’s a way of being, and if you’re not being authentic, then you’re not being your true self. That’s something I discovered recently with my own inauthenticity. Because, while submissives struggle with accepting that they’re into this, we dominatrices, (although it’s not talked about), also struggle coming out as dominatrices.
Tasha Black: It took me a long time to finally be public about being a dominatrix, because I’ve always been an extremely high achieving, shining star of my family type of person. So the idea that I could be abusing men, doing porn, and being myself–and that’s my job, my life, and my career? I thought there must be something wrong with me. I recall talking to my therapist, asking “am I addicted to this?” Should I go into rehab? Should I stop? Because I thought this is bad, it must be bad, everything I see in media says it’s bad, so clearly there must be something I’m not getting. But no, I just realized that this is the life I want to lead. And thank God for all of my subs, all the people that actually are my fans and support me, that let me know every day that there’s a place for me. There are all kinds of people on this earth, and we need dominatricies. There are guys that love and deeply appreciate what I do and what I add to their everyday experience.
King Lexa: Yeah, and who’s to tell you that’s wrong? It’s frightening. I know so many dominatricies who struggle, even get depressed from it.
Tasha Black: It will hold them back too.
King Lexa: It holds them back in their work. You know, I started thriving at my fullest once I came clean.
Tasha Black: Yes, same. Me too. It’s crazy. It’s like, “wow.”
King Lexa: It’s crazy. And I didn’t really do it knowing that. You just have to trust and take the leap of faith. For me personally, it was more about being free with myself than anything. I’m so glad I did it and I hope everyone finds the strength to do so.

You can find more about King Lexa at: