In my previous post about vanilla sex I revealed that I do, in fact, sometimes fantasize about being penetrated by a sub. Though this was considered controversial by some Pro-Dommes—colleagues who felt that it is not right, under any circumstances, to give sub’s the impression that can touch us intimately– other members of the BDSM community were more approving. “Lifestyle” players– for those who aren’t familiar with the nomenclature– are individuals who enjoy BDSM, kink, and fetish play without pay, simply for their own pleasure. These are friends that I made outside of the dungeon and further still from the adult entertainment industry. These are folks who simply love femdom. And no wonder, they were the people who could truly appreciate how horny I get dominating all these men session after session! Perhaps because unlike your average sex worker, they still enjoy it.
That being said let’s set the record straight; I DO NOT under any circumstances have sex with subs. Not so much because I disagree with providers or escorts who choose to offer full service, rather because I personally identify as a Female Supremacist and Keyholder. Orgasm control is one of my best tools for enforcing chastity on male submissives. I hate to say it, but in my honest opinion giving pussy to men only makes them lazier and further feeds their innate sense of entitlement. To placate male libido, it’s much better to keep them in a constant state of waiting; teasing and stimulating their sexual arousal, encouraging them to edge, yet ultimately preventing them from orgasming. Ego prevention is much easier than reprogramming so I choose to train my subs the right way from the start
This leads me back to my first question, however… what’s a Dominatrix to do when her submissive man has made her so excited she can’t wait to cum? When I posed this question to my “lifestyle player” acquaintances, I was often met with the same answer, “Go for it!” or some variation of lewd remark describing the sex I could be having right now if I wasn’t such an uptight prude. So you know I’m not an uptight prude, so much as I am an uptight Mistress trained by other, clearly, if not more so uptight mentors. When I first got into online sex work I was already two years into Pro-Domming, yet I’d never shot or distributed a clip in my life. I was petrified. I can distinctly remember one of my mentors telling me that if I chose to shoot BDSM porn, avoid filming strapon scenes by all means necessary. They told me that of all the types of fetishes, kinks, and various forms of play one indulge in on camera strap on would haunt me the most. “It’s sodomy,” and its parallel to traditionally penetrative sex could black ball me professionally for a lifetime. Two years later, as BDSM’s resounding strapon Queen I can say with full confidence that the types of play you enjoy should only be influenced by you, your partner, or whomever you decide to share yourself with 😉