Los Angeles or NYC: Insights as a Dominatrix

It was midnight in Meatpacking District and all around me were writhing bodies, sheathed in latex. In New York the real festivities don’t begin until 2am and it would still be a couple more hours of martinis, witty conversation, and horny, devouring eyes before we got there. I was at another BDSM play party in NYC, this time a private event held on the observatory deck of The Standard. The man I spoke to, a banker in his mid 50s, smiled while his eyes scanned my glossy catsuit, “What a shame, if you hadn’t worn that maybe you could jump into the pool tonight”. I laughed, “I just flew in from a party in Los Angeles, baby, I was swimming naked on the rooftop of the Ace just six hours ago”. I love NY, but in my opinion LA is one of the best cities in the world for femdom right now.

I say this for multiple reasons—having explored both terrains I’ve found that although the kinky community does exist in both spaces, it better thrives and flourishes in Los Angeles. LA is home to the adult entertainment industry and has always been stomping ground for the industry’s biggest names. Cybill Troy, Isabella Sinclair, An Li, Veronica Vixen, and Mistress Iris are just a few dominatrices to either live in or operate dungeons in Los Angeles. Not to mention the plethora of performers that fly there regularly to film and shoot new content. Myself included 😉

LA’s fetish scene is not quite as conspicuous as New York’s—it requires dedicated time spent searching to find the right people and places. My dungeon of choice, Ivy Manor, is located in Downtown Los Angeles and (pre Covid-19) had frequently hosted some of the city’s most exclusive foot fetish and femdom play parties. Legal regulations are adhered to with greater diligence in Los Angeles thus the dungeons are sparser but also of higher quality. There’s a closer knit culture of mentorship and lineage in LA, which lends itself to better trained Dommes–if slightly more insular communities. In comparison New York is far more gritty and raw; abetting the most curious, perverse forms of sexual exploration.

I grew up in New York City, and I attended my first BDSM play party when I was only 15 years old. That’s the way New York is, it’s a city that gladly devours fresh meat. It’s also a great place to find yourself—New York is home to one of the oldest BDSM, kink, and fetish educational organizations, one of the United States’ last dedicated BDSM nightclubs, and one of the biggest markets for professional Dominatrices in the world. All of which are important kinky resources that Los Angeles doesn’t even come close to. In some sense, no city is better than the other, it’s just a matter of personal taste and the luck of the draw as to where you get discovered—where you call “home”. I’m just happy I get to enjoy both.